The Libertine - Johnny Depp - You should probably wait for Dead Man's Chest

The Libertine, starring Johnny Depp, was released on DVD Tuesday July 4'th.

Strange, as it is credited to 2004.

hmmm...... is the movie SO bad that they have to wait until 3 days before Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest ?

(Spoiler alert : Stop reading if you haven't seen the show yet )

I honestly wasn't too interested in viewing this film, considering the little bits I had heard, and clips of Johnny saying that "You won't like me......"

But, I rented it anyway. Why?

it was July 4'th. ( It always rains on the 4'th where I live ) .

Something about an outdoor family party in the rain makes me want to have a few movies sliding around on the passenger-side floor of my car.

( Not to mention the fact that my Blockbuster MoviePass is about to expire soon ~ you know, how you want to hurry up and get your money's worth at the end ? )

Anyway ~ The Libertine is based on the life of John Wilmot, second Earl of Rochester, a promising writer who wasted his life on drinking and prostitutes. John Malkovich plays King Charles II.

I was expecting a darker version of Casanova with some interesting examples of Wilmot writings. Wrong.

Depp begins the film with some heavy boasting of his sexual skills, stressing how he is always "Up" for it, and that men should strive to be like him.

Now I begin to imagine - maybe some instructional scenes? Wrong.

Wilmot (Depp) is returning to London. We see that his wife is very aware that he is unfaithful.

The women in London are all portrayed as whores. Even the women who are not whores are still available for a price. As Wilmot (Depp) undertakes to mentor an actress, ( Elizabeth Barry played by Samantha Morton) she argues that she will not allow him to take credit for teaching her to act, but "You could have my slit for 1 pound a night...."

There is really no sexual skill anywhere, everyone is bought and paid for, then the scenes are over, pretty much without showing anything. Passionate embraces are far and few between.

There are a few foggy images of orgys in the park, but Depp is just an onlooker - not a participant.

The movie does not give us any real examples of Wilmot's writing skills. We are just expected to accept that everyone believes him capable of genius.

See this post for a few of Wilmot's Poems

At one point he admits to his wife that he had been drinking for 5 years straight.

The lighting was dark, and the scenes weren't substantial enough to stop me from thinking outside of the story.

I couldn't help but repeatedly see the correlation to the life of a modern day actor.........

with stories of drugs and drinking and unlimited possibilities for sex, if desired.

Considering Depp's impressive body of work, and all of the interesting rumors, his personal life story would probably make a more interesting show.